vulpine.zone est. 2635

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A million things that bug me

Inspired by this Calvin and Hobbes strip (gocomics source; unfortunately paywalled now):

calvin and hobbes strip by bill watterson, published may 11 1993. calvin is writing on a piece of paper, which reads: 'a million things that bug me - dried out catsup on the bottle rim, toast crumbs in the butter, mushy bananas, worms on the sidewalk, skin on pudding, making a hand gesture for quotation marks, raisins'. after this list, hobbes appears and says 'how about 'excessively negative people'?', to which calvin replies, 'yeah, that's a good one'. in the final panel calvin yells '...hey!' to hobbes after he has left the room.

note: this list should be treated mostly as a joke!!

  1. mosquitoes
  2. losing my spot in a book
  3. microsoft windows (8.1 and newer)
    • 1.0 to 7 ROCKED!
  4. bloatware
  5. spyware you need to install to get a job
  6. spyware in general
  7. free mobile games
  8. pay-to-win mechanics
  9. debugging for hours just to find an issue that you should have caught immediately
  10. stereotypical pop music
    • look, there's good pop and bad pop...
  11. terrible documentation
  12. only being able to find something when you don't need it
  13. showers that get progressively colder
  14. shrinkflation
  15. forced software updates
  16. that one cramp you get in your leg when you stretch too hard
  17. red delicious apples
  18. subscription pestering
  19. the "dir" command
    • that is three keystrokes which make you go back and forth across the keyboard. your fingers are naturally on the 'l' and 's' keys, so you don't even have to move to get a directory listing!!
  20. undercooked or overcooked bacon
    • you're SO CLOSE.
  21. proprietary charging ports
  22. scam calls
  23. programming languages which start at 1, not 0
  24. the song that never ends
  25. the hotkey ctrl-alt-shift-win-l
  26. "mini" sodas
    • either go all in or not at all.
  27. bad fingerprint readers
  28. forgetting a dream
  29. clocks that don't have a "snooze" button
  30. sink water that's just a little too hot or cold
  31. the fact that some people have 2000+ hours in splatoon 3
  32. flat sparkling water
  33. 500 line stack traces
  34. x64 assembly
  35. too little dipping sauce
  36. "american" style cheese
  37. retractable USB cables that don't extend correctly
  38. really cheap phone chargers
  39. awkward silences
  40. stickers that don't stick
    • you had one job!
  41. DRM
  42. shoving AI into literally everything for next to no reason
  43. school laptops
  44. formatters that format your code incorrectly
  45. the english language (and all of its inconsistent rules/grammar)
  46. minimum or maximum mouse sensitivity
  47. cheaters
  48. "smart" TVs that are no longer smart due to age
  49. adblock detectors
  50. typos
  51. compiling from source on incredibly slow computers
  52. bootlooping
  53. spotty internet
  54. flickering store signs
  55. using the "word" skibidi unironically
  56. streamsniping
  57. modern BIOS configuration menus
  58. ringtones on max volume
  59. web3
  60. electron apps
  61. 100+ mod minecraft servers